My Weak Weak Love

Hey everybody!
        This past week we had a class called Relational Wholeness.  Besides our six hours in the prayer room we spent ALL DAY in these classes.  It was intense to say the least.  The idea of the classes were to go through major strongholds that keep us from Christ.  Most often this is small or insignificant events from our past.  At least we think they are insignificant...they sure aren't when you realize how the devil takes advantage of them and leaves us in bondage over them.
        The main thing I learnt...I'm so weak.  I'm in tears just writing this!  My love is so weak, I don't even know what to write!  I'm so full of sin, I am such a fallen imagine of Christ.  No matter how hard I try I will always fail at the same thing or something else.  All I deserved was death from the moment I was born.  Any good in me is the Holy Spirit 'for without me you can do nothing.' I am nothing.  All I am is a piece of dust.  From dust Adam came and to dust I deserve to return.
        He is so holy.  He is worthy of it all.  You know why He created us?  He created us that He might receive glory.  That stabs my heart...He created me to glorify Him.  What do I do?  I look back at my past and I can allow shame to completely overcome me.  The farthest thing I have done from glorifying Him with my life.
        You know what I love?  He knew Eve was going to eat that fruit.  He knew that Adam wasn't going to step up and lead, He knew that Adam would sin alongside His wife.  God knew that I would be the sinner I am today and still he predestined me to be His adopted child before the foundation of the world.  He delights in my weak love.  After several hours of navel gazing Jesus lifts my face towards His eyes of fire and reminds me that He delights in me.  When I see all my sin and my weak effort to be come blameless and holy before Him He chooses to see perfection.  His son's blood covers me and He places His Holy Spirit within me as a sealed promise of His second coming and the hope of my glorified body.
        It's so hard for my little mind to comprehend!  I was the joy set before Him that allowed Him to endure the cross.  In me he sees opportunity for His grace to become complete.  I know this is the worst put together blog post I have made and would not pass an english journal entry however I honestly don't know how to write this is in a beautiful way!  When I am struggling to stay awake in the prayer room and I happen to glance at my Saviour He is ravished by my love.  Man talk about the coolest guy EVER!  He never ditches us because we hurt Him, He never leaves us alone even though we deserve death.  God spoke and His very own Word became His Son.  He sent that Son to die on the cross that I might be with Him in paradise someday.  Now that is reason enough for me to pour out my weak love day after day, month after month, year after year.  Here I am, enjoy me Lord :)