Ruined

     Hey all!  So as some of you know my time here is quickly wrapping up.  I have decided to return after Christmas and do another three months of Fire in the Night.  I am VERY excited about this and have so much more peace about going home knowing that I'm coming back here :)
     As our time here is quickly coming to an end we have been doing a lot of reflecting on what the Lord has done.  Where do you even start??  To sum most of it up I would say that I feel so incredibly in love.
     Along with healing from so many past issues, diving into the deep and hidden things of Christ, learning to search out the scriptures, hours of intercession etc. etc. etc. All of it summed up...I am so crazy in love with Jesus Christ!  I don't have any clue how to be 'normal' anymore!  He consumes my everything, I have such a fear of the Lord that I only long to increase.  I would do anything for Him, go anywhere, say anything, sacrifice anything, withhold myself from anything.  He is truly my everything!
     I think back to the first time I fell in love.  I remembering forgetting things I normally wouldn't forget and even when I was frustrated with things he would do it didn't matter!  I was in love and I knew that our love could stand against trials of any kind.  That's the best way I can describe what I am going through!  However I feel so strongly that my long is rooted and grounded on truth and knowledge in who He is.  It's so far from only a feeling...if it was only a feeling I was clinging to I would have come home two weeks into the internship.  (Just an FYI you don't always feel crazy amazing sitting in a prayer room 6 hours a night :)
     This love though has begun simply because He loves me.  However now I have received opportunity time after time and day after day to search after the secret and hidden things of Christ.  I have received the gift of being set on fire and have great zeal for which He has zeal.  He has drawn me away!  The more I get to know Him, the more I becoming completely and totally abandoned to Him I feel myself becoming a completely new creation.  This love within me is indescribable!
     I was attempting to explain what's inside me today to several people and I find myself saying so much and making so little sense!  I am so in love with my creator!  What makes me go so crazy inside is that He is totally sovereign over all things and He longs for me to fall more in love with Him every moment of the day even more then I desire that!  He will truly bring to perfect completion everything He has begun and He is truly delighted to do so.  He has truly drawn me away during this season of my life and drawn myself so near to Himself.  There is nowhere I would rather be, there is no sacrifice I regret, no challenge I regret taking up.  I am living simply to love my creator and to allow Him to love me.  He is my everything.