Thorn in my Flesh

Hello fellow Canadians!!  We are over half way done our internship and it's been so interesting listening to the Track 1 interns talking about what they are all going to do after the internship and how some of them "cannot wait" until March is over.  Others have made the unexpected decision to stay for Track 2 and I have to admit I love watching there fresh zeal and passion for Jesus.  Watching truth and light penetrate through the darkness that has entangled some of them all their lives and hearing about the life they are experiencing in abundance for the first time, now that is something I never get tired of hearing!  It's crazy how fast the past five months have flown by, at the beginning of that time I thought I would find myself in Hawaii right now preparing for outreach with YWAM.  Now instead I am attempting to plan my summer!  I am hoping to continue on to IHOPU (International House of Prayer University) after this and I have to decide to either spend the summer at home doing online correspondents in order to skip straight into Sophomore year or I can return home for two short months and come back out here for the intensive summer program and once again enter the University as a Sophomore student in August.  Please pray for wisdom as I make this decision!  

Have you ever wondered what Paul's "thorn in the flesh' was?  Some scholars believe he struggled with depression or had a physical ailment.  Others believe it was his wife; that possibly he married prior to his conversion and now had to "deal with her".  I wouldn't want to be those scholars wives! :p  2 Corinthians 12:7-10 states "And lest I should be exalted above measure by the abundance of the revelations, a thorn in the flesh was given to me, a messenger of Satan to buffet me, lest I be exalted above measure.  Concerning this thing I pleaded with the Lord three times that it might depart from me.  And He said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness."  Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.  Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in needs, in persecutions, in distresses, for Christ's sake.  For when I am weak, then I am strong." 

These verses are some of my favourites!  Paul's attitudes in weaknesses, persecutions and distresses amaze me!  I long to fully attain this early on in life.  For me I would say the constant ability to be depressed would be the thorn in my flesh.  This past weak I have to confess I have gotten rather lazy.  I only got up early a few days and didn't make a huge effort to eat healthy and exercise.  I stuck to my schedule when it was convenient for me but didn't make a huge effort to say "no" to the things around me and "yes" to decisions that impact me forever.  The beauty about my weakness of depression is that these mistakes creep up on me in less than seven days!  Suddenly one morning I can hardly get myself out of bed and I think "oh-oh…what did I do?"  This morning all I did was sat down with a pen and paper and once again asked God for revelation on how to beat this.  Once again He spoke to me the simple truths of a life  of adoration, discipline, health and obedience.  I confessed, repented and made the decision to once again live wholeheartedly for Him.  Man that was easy!  For a moment though I found thoughts of complaining in my spirit.  Why do I have to struggle with this?  Why can't I even take a week break like "normal" people?  The Holy Spirit quickly stopped me though and brought be back to these verses.  What a blessing I have!  I can't even go seven days of living in compromise over the things the Lord has given me revelation upon without hitting rock bottom.  I am thankful for this quick turn around and wouldn't have it any other way.

What do you believe the "thorn in your flesh" is?  What is the blessing the Lord has given you in disguise to keep you leaning on Him with every decision and every breath?  What have you viewed all your life or in the past week as a huge obstacle that you would love to leave?  Maybe it's God's helping hand in your life!