Today I had my first specialist appointment. I must admit, I walked away more frustrated and with more questions then answers. I am going to be having more tests and will be seeing more specialists. They want to pursue each of my symptoms individually, with different specialists. Please pray for wisdom for me and my family seeing as there are several options on how to move forward. We are praying for a diagnoses as soon as possible. Weather it's good news or bad news the unknown seems much harder then facing reality.
I am off to Kansas City tomorrow morning! My mom and dad are coming along to help me pack up my apartment, move home and tie up a few loose ends. We are planning to spend several days in KC enjoying the prayer room, services, and for me to say good bye to the place I have called home for the past two years. Please pray for peace, I am absolutely thrilled to return for four days however I know that leaving KC will break my heart. I have grown desperately in love with my Saviour during my time at IHOP and have grow in much knowledge and love for the Word. Leaving that place will be far from easy, especially considering the circumstances. Good thing God is the healer of broken hearts :)
I have been learning much in the past week of dying to myself in several areas. It seems as if a highlighter has been over the 'people pleasing' area of my life. I really like it when people like me, just being honest! This past week I feel as if I have done everything but please the people around me. I have cancelled hang outs with many friends and when I have the chance to snatch a few hours of work, I am well aware that the work I complete is not the quality it once was. When I'm in groups of people, my dizziness and headaches seem to ramp up to an extreme. Because of this, I've become the silent girl in the corner, avoiding people, leaving early and coming late. It's been a real reality check. Why do I care so much about what others think? At the end of the day the most pleasure I feel is from my heavenly Father. At the end of the day if nobody likes me or if everybody would like me the truth is, I would still rather my final conversation before bed be with God and not with man. If I profess with my mouth that I live for God's glory why do I try so hard to glorify myself and convince people that I am likeable? I've so enjoyed being challenged this week to simply let go, and trust God that He knows what He is doing. He likes me, and that's all that truly matters :)
Thinking and praying for you!
ReplyDelete- Pat Plett